Updated: Oct 10, 2019
Masturbation helps me to relieve stress!
This is such a common belief by many men. I believe it is important for every men and women to self-pleasure frequently ; however i do not encourage the "traditional way" of masturbation where you watch a porn or fantasising while wanking off; sometime as quick as 5 minutes. By masturbating in this way, soon you will be desensitised and you will have it harder and harder to enjoy pleasure while engaging in sex unless there is extreme stimulation to your lingam. It is also highly possible that you will experience pre-mature ejaculation as your brain has been wired that stimulation equals to time to ejaculate. Clients whom I seen who masturbated too frequently with porn has lost their ability to experience pleasure in their body; in fact, many of them are numb and can't feel much.
I will encourage you to set aside uninterrupted time for at least 20 minutes once or twice a week to engage in mindful masturbation. No porn, no fantasy; just breathe deep and touch yourself slowly and mindfully. Play with your body and do not go straight to your genital. Start to connect to your body with your breath and your touch. There is no goal in this process and ejaculation is not a must. Listen to your body. Obviously without porn and fantasy, you might notice you have no arousal. With practice, you will find that you don't need external stimulation to create arousal; your breathe could create orgasmic experience for you One client just reported to me that he was breathing based on what I taught on the bus and went into an orgasm which he quickly stopped it since he in public transport :)
Starting any new habit is going to be tough as your brain is hard wired to the old ways of doing things. Be kind and patient to yourself; this new ritual will help you become a better lover and enjoy more energy in your life.