There is considerable pressure for man to be a good lover; perhaps you even attempt to be the best lover your partner has ever had. In order to achieve that, there are many expectations and the stakes are high, First, you need to make sure you have an erection, you need to make sure you can last long enough and assuming you can have an erection and last long enough, you also need to make sure your lover can have an orgasm. No wonder some men feel that love making creates more performance anxiety as compared to work.
Often, men are too Goal Oriented when making love; focusing on having the orgasm(s) rather than the process. In the past, I have experienced lovers who kept asking me "Have you cum" during love making. Personally, this question is a biggest turn off during love making and I am sure many women felt the same too. Why? Firstly, it felt that the man is rushing me to have an orgasm so that he can have his soon. Also, it shows that he is not even sensitive enough to figure out if I have an orgasm or not. In the past, whenever I was asked this question, I will fake an orgasm and get over the love making quickly as I have lost interest in the experience.
So guys, now you know why as many as 52% of women are faking their orgasms. According to a Durex Global Sex Survey:
- only 17% of women are likely to have an orgasm during sex
- 43% of women report some kind of sexual problem such as inability to achieve orgasm, boredom with sex or total lack of interest in sex.
At the root of the problems lies the lack of understanding of the female body by men, the overly goal oriented approach taken by men when having sex and the lack of ejaculatory control by men.
For some men, love making has become a mechanical, quick 10 min act to experience an ejaculation followed by sleep. Notice i say ejaculation and not orgasm as some men do not experience any orgasmic energy when they ejaculated. Most men are still not able to differentiate between orgasm and ejaculation. Orgasm is a peak emotional and physical experience; ejaculation is simply a reflex that occurs at the base of the spine and results in the release of semen.
By learning to become more aware of one's body, to separate orgasm from ejaculation, by slowing down to connect instead of rushing for an end goal, you will find that you not only you will be a better lover, you will experience more orgasm(s) and have more energy in life.
Give yourself the experience of a tantric ecstasy session today . This is the ultimate treat for men to fully let go of all tension, stress and melt in the expansion of your sexual energy through orgasmic breath, body work and conscious touch. Email me to book in for a session or ask any questions you may have.